No matter who you are or what you do, there are always going to be times when things are tough. Really tough. Right now is one of those times for me personally. I hesitate as to how much I should say though for several reasons. Firstly, I don’t want to give the impression that my tough times come even close to other people in both my own country and around the world who are facing far, far tougher challenges than I am. Secondly, part of me is reluctant to admit that I don’t have everything all together. (Yes, pride, pure and simple.)
All that said, based on several people’s comments, I can’t help but feel that sharing about a struggle whilst it is happening (rather then afterwards when everything has sorted itself out) would be a big encouragement to many people.
So, all that said, here goes: My name’s Sam Radford and my life’s really tough right now!
As some of you who follow this site regularly will know, my IT role with the company I’ve been with for the last nine years was recently made redundant. And, in case you hadn’t noticed, it’s not the greatest time to be out of work right now. The economy seems to be slowly turning round but the job market is still in decline with unemployment figures still rising (here in the UK at least).
It’s amazing how stable life can seem when you have a steady job with a steady income. Everything seems ok. You plan all your spending around an income you feel very secure about. But what happens when that income is no more? And how about when your spouse’s income is also almost no more due to maternity leave? That’s where we’re at right now. Honestly, it’s tough. I’m not the first person to experience this and I know I won’t be the last, but I certainly have a lot more empathy for those faced with these kinds of challenges.
In the midst of all this, there are definitely three things that I’ve been learning/holding onto:
1) Gratitude. Even in the midst of this really challenging time I am struck still be how much I still have. Both in terms of material things but more so in terms of friends and family. So many people have said they will help us in whatever ways they can. It would be easy to just end up complaining about everything, saying how it’s not fair that I’m having to face this, but the truth is that I have far more to be grateful about that I have to complain about.
2) Perseverance. There are times when I’ve felt totally demotivated. And worse than that, times when I’ve felt like I want to just hide and somehow escape from the reality. There’s definitely a part of me that wants to bury my head in the sand and just hope things will sort themselves out. The truth is that I know I need to persevere, to keep seeking out opportunities, to face up to the realities and not hide from them. No matter how bad things get, there is never a place for giving up.
3) Fun. I know, the first two I can imagine everyone nodding their heads in agreement, ‘yes, very wise…so true’. But not so with this last one. More a case, ‘Hmmm, you what? I thought this guy had lost his job.’ I can’t overestimate how important this is though. When times are tough it is so easy to feel overwhelmed. At times I feel such a heaviness and it can be so draining and wearing. Having fun is a necessary release for my own sanity as much as anything. We need moments of joy and laughter. They bring a healing and a freshness to our souls. For me, our seven month old daughter has helped with this. Playing with her and enjoying making her laugh is so refreshing.
What about you? What lessons have you learnt or are you learning during tough times in your life?
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Sam, all three of you are in our thoughts often. Having seen a far share of hard times, our methodology is to dig into the issue and work through it intently. Others seem to avoid the issue at hand and look ahead or behind to better times. I think it’s important to find what works for all of you.
“The right path through a hard time is the path that gets you through.” (sbw)
Great reflection and learning Sam. Unemployment is a very troubling time, especially with a sense of family responsibility. It can really undermine what we believe about ourselves and God. It’s good to remember the things you write about. Recently we became grandparents for the first time and I hit a very difficult time about the same time. I just kept thinking of my granddaughter and it made a huge difference to my perspective on those troubles. Keep being grateful, persevering and having fun!
Sam
I have to say that it has always been difficult for me to not focus on myself during suffering. To not feel sorry for myself. But I like your reflection and maybe that is the lesson that I have learned during hard times, to reflect!!
Enjoy the fun part!
Praying for you!
Thanks guys!